Taking One for Humanity

So I miss my past
The people in it,
Friends and whatnot
It's hard to see them in pictures on Facebook
After years of not seeing them in person.
Years.
Things change,
And they're no longer the people I knew.
And I can't help but feel like
I let some very valuable people go.
It's true that
I'm the type of person
Who doesn't realize what she's missed
Until she sees how well things
Are going without her.
Perhaps it's jealousy;
I did consider that point.
When  out of all your life
There's one thing that turns out all right,
But you make it end,
And it goes away and nothing after that
Turns out the same,
Well,
It's just sad to know what could have been.
I'm not writing a love story here;
It's not just him I miss.
My friends too;
I had friends before the big divorce and move.
Well, at least
I think I did.
Of course,
Now I'm not really sure.
But my problem here is not that I wish I could
Once again be with these people,
But that's part of it.
My problem is that
I'm missing my past that's moved forward,
And I feel guilty about it because I'm very happy
With the people I'm surrounded with now.
I love my friends with all my heart,
And I've got a girl that I love too,
Though things aren't exactly as I'd have them be.
And it makes me think
That maybe
It's okay for friends to grow apart;
That's part of growing up.
And it's okay for people to change
Because it's not about being apart from your old friends
And changing them back to fit your memories
When you meet again.
It's okay for people to grow and change and
Get new friends,
Because that's just how humanity works,
And that's how you end up
Surrounded by people you adore.
That's when you discover
That changing your past is worthless
And trying to keep up
Is pointless
Because there's people around you
Who love you
Even as you're changing.
And this discovery
Makes all the difference.

June 17, 2012