Body of a Eternal

On the other side
A world without ending,
we are promised new things.

So much to be sacrificed
Little left without chaos
Most are lost and forgotten
But we are not.

The passage will be easy
No huge deals,
not much commitment.
We must remain true to ourselves.

Yeah, it seems great over there,
but is it really worth it?
I cannot be the host.
But you are a witness.

And on top of all of that,
So much added stress,
I'm not even sure if I am ready
to make the eternal switch.

Amy Bohon, Body of an Eternal, 12/27/09

Give me some evidence?

What's going on?
I admit to being sorry for my quietness,
but really?
Such confusion as this cannot be taken lightly.

It's obvious that you want to be left alone.
Okay, so I won't bother you.
But really?
You can just tell me when you don't want to talk.

Please don't think I'm mad at you,
though it's hard to tell if you'd care either way.
Until further notice,
you're the most important.
I can forget about myself.

The true story really was true.
It was one of endless compassion.
But of course, that's just the kind of human I am.
I follow others.
It's sometimes odd what pleases me.

But this isn't about me.
It's not about anyone really,
and it doesn't bother me all that much.
So see you tomorrow, I guess.

~12/02/09
Amy Bohon
Craving an Answer, or at Least, Some Evidence.

typed really quickly, but look past that to the actual meaning please, i don't think it's too hard to figure out.

I’m glad I told you
Don’t get me wrong
But I’ve just got to say
That I’m not sure what to do now

You seem to want to avoid the topic
Which is perfectly okay,
It’s just that I was hoping
We could discuss it further

You have to know that I’d never rush you
Or pressure you into anything
If you’re really not interested
You might want to tell me now
But I still won’t lose hope

After now, when you know about the basis of my life
You know more than anyone else knows
I want you to get to know me
See me as I really am
Is being like me really all that bad?

Please tell me soon
I hope u realize by this point
That this is not really a poem
This is just my way of saying things to you that I can’t directly.

Please understand
You mean a lot to me
More than you know
I’m sorry this is so odd for you
I can’t help who I am

You know what is left in my life
Nothing.
You are all that I have to care about anymore
PLEASE
Think it over
I’ll be waiting…

~Amy Bohon, Seriously, I’m waiting. No joke. This isn’t just temporary for me.

New emotions, but what to do with them?

Gah-lee. I've been having MAJOR emotional problems lately. Bouts of depression, then ULTRA-HAPPINESS, then a little bit of insanity. It all gets mixed in there. What's a teen to do? I don't really know, but I guess that's 8th grade for ya.

~Amy/Ameh/Amehdilla/Amehdia/Woof/Seabiscuit/Seabie

Nom.

nom, nom nom nom.
nom nom nom, nom nom.
nom.

~Amy Bohon, Nom.
11/08/09

renovations

I haven't updated my blog since, well, since i made it. Because I haven't had anything to do with Twilight since winter of '08, i figure it's high time I change things a little around here. I doubt I'll be changing the layout or colour, but idk. Enjoy the new look!

~Amy

Secrets? Secrets. But Why?

How can I do this?
Keeping from you what I haven’t from others.
My world,
Where I keep myself and my secrets,
Seems to be growing even larger.

How I long to tell you.
I could, if you wanted me to.
You are so terribly close.
If I could just speak my mind, you’d know,
And I would no longer have to hide behind what couldn’t happen.

If only you could feel what I feel;
Know what I hold in my forsaken knowledge.
It seems to prove itself.

Even after these past two weeks,
Since I’ve proclaimed myself to my world,
I still need you.
That’s how I know this isn’t faux.
Oh God, what am I doing?
I just don’t want to be labeled a freak.

I give you countless hints.
Do you know, and just don’t want to tell me?
Or are you truly in the dark about all this?

I’m waiting for your answer.
Please don’t make me suffer.

~Amy Bohon, Secrets? Secrets. But Why?

11/1/09, 12:04 am

(picture of the Blood Moon courtesy of http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.nightskyinfo.com/sky_highlights/hunters_moon/full_moon_small.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.nightskyinfo.com/sky_highlights/hunters_moon/&h=320&w=320&sz=21&tbnid=UGWVmDiSEsXuqM:&tbnh=118&tbnw=118&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dfull%2Bmoon&usg=__gVG2Nj-hd2vxGqrt1xpPt5uKSdg=&ei=PRLtSuShH4G1tgf5kok7&sa=X&oi=image_result&resnum=5&ct=image&ved=0CBgQ9QEwBA. I do not own the picture.)

Good news, readers! The novel that my friend, Mataia Watkins, was working on (there's a sneak preveiw somewhere in this blog) is almost ready to be sent to the publisher! Now I know that there's probably a total of like 3 people that actually check my blog, but if anyone knows of any publishers that she could send her manuscript to, they would be greatly appreciated!!! Thanks!!!

~Amy

New Love?

How can I know my love is true when I haven't dreamed of you yet?

I used to dream of another.
I told myself I loved him.
Looking back, I'm not so sure.
I remember when the dreams of him stopped.
I'm certain that he's nothing to me anymore.

But back when he was in my dreams,
things were different.
As they are now.

With these new things I'm feeling,
there is no regret, something I've felt every time in the past.
I've never felt this way before.

I wish to dream of you tonight.

~9/1/09 (3:05 am)
New Love?

Uncertain About what to Do

Major confusion is what i used to feel whenever i was around you.
I was always locked in the confusion.
When I first met you, you were the most amazing person in the world.
You still are.
If only you knew my real feelings.
Not just what I choose to let you see.
Nobody knows who I really am.
I've been too afraid to reveal myself to the light.
I've been too afraid of rejection.
I know that that would happen if I told you.
You're all I think about.
I don't want that to change.
But as I get to know you more, i start to realize
You would never go for me.

~9/1/09,
Feelings?

let me get this across, please.

I would just like everyone to know (if there is anyone ever reading this blog anyways) that the ideas for my poems are NOT inspired by anything besides my imagination and feelings. They all come from my heart and soul. So please, do not mistake these as knock-offs from other people's ideas. Thank You.

Amy

Vampyre's Dilemma

I love you.
But I can't.

I want you.
But I can't let that happen.

and the worst part is

you want me too.

But it's not your fault.

You can't help your desire.

It's all a part of a game that my kind plays.

Poor human, you don't know what's best for you.

If you wish not to die,
then I suggest you leave me be.
And stay away from me.

Because if I decide to give in again,
I may lose control.

And that would be fatal for both of us.

~Amy, Bloodlust, 6/23/09

Unoticed Reality

You were oblivious.
Oblivious to everything.
You weren't aware of my constant unhappiness.
You didn't know the pain.
Because I hid it well.
And I think I liked it that way.

But then you found them.
The hand-written notes,
the emails,
the text messages,
my pleas for sanity.

You watched my emotions go
from
depression,
to misery,
to sadness,
to annoyance,
to anger,
and rage.

You watched as my plan unfolded before you,
and you were horrified.
And then you read this poem as it fell open in front of you.

You knew that you had to kill me before I got the chance to do the same to you.

So you did.

But alas, you had not read until the end of this poem.

So you killed me, without the knowledge that I was really innocent,

and this was just a poem.

Idiot.

~Amy, Quick to Decide, 6/23/09

Influences.

I thought I was alone
in the only place I considered safe.
But I was wrong.
It turns out that there are influences in my mind.

My choices are not my own.
I am controlled by a higher authority.
Somewhere in the distance,
a stranger watches me.

I am a mere rag doll
and now that I know the truth,
I don't see the point of living anymore.
Not when everything's set in stone.

When life is all I know,
and I think of all the choices I could make
then I learn about my fate
That I'm just a slave of higher influences.

~Amy, 6/11/09, Influences

here's my latest and greatest.

A year ago,
I didn't know your name.

A year ago,
I did not know your face.

A year ago,
I passed by you in the hall without giving you a second thought.

A year ago,
I did not know the pleasure and delight you could bring to me.

I did not know the things you could show me.

The things you could teach me.

But now,

I see life through your eyes.

I feel your pain and suffering.

I now know why you choose to hide from the world
in the darkness and shadows you enclose yourself in.

I receive your knowledge
in the pleas you send out.

I now know more than the good side.

I am exposed to the evils.

And it kills me.

But still, I choose to be with you.


~Amy, By Choice
5/27/09*

*this was inspired by, and is dedicated to, an accidental friend. One who I would never in a millions years wish that I hadn't become friends with. I think you know who you are. (p.s. sorry if I twisted things a bit. It's my imagination, you know?)

New Talents Arising!!

"My breathing stuttered, my eyes widening at the silence. My whole body shook, from my head to my toes like a wave of fear washing through me, electrifying my veins and frying my nerves. I felt numb. Maybe this was my body's form of defense. Go numb, because then I can't feel anything. At least I'd die painlessly..."

This is just one paragraph from an exciting novel hopefully coming to you in the next couple of years. This is an ultra-sneak preview of a new work by a new talent. Mataia Watkins started this new novel this year (2009), and has already knocked out the brains of several of her peers with her amazing writing. Mataia hopes to finish her first draft this summer, and she hopes to eventually get the book out in stores.

Look for Freeze, and feel the compassion and love that Mataia Watkins's story will instill in your heart forever!

(All information on Freeze, as far as excerpts from and information regarding it, are sole copyright to Mataia Watkins. Any reproduction of anything related to it is prohibited.)

copyright Mataia Watkins 2009

new poem~ my life.

This poem was inspired by a friend's poem about me and my intense 18-month crush that "He" doesn't know about. This poem is mostly based on true aspects of my life. Yes, it's true. I'm too afraid to talk to the only person in the world that I'd like to be with. The nickname in this poem is real, but I did not make it up. My friends actually did. Since I cannot stay away from depressing poems, this one has kind of an exaggerated - but true - ending. Enjoy.



"Familiar Story of a Familiar Girl and Her Monkey Boy"

So there once was a girl.
Said to have everything she ever wanted.
Said to be the happiest person alive.
Nobody believed her when she said she was depressed.
Upset because her only true love was so far out of her reach.
But her loyal and trustworthy friends knew her real pain.
They saw it every day as she walked by him in the hallway and hid her misery.
They urged her to talk to him, but she knew in her heart that she was too shy.
She could never get over her fear of rejection long enough to actually talk to "Monkey Boy",
who got his nickname from her friends because they thought he had freakishly large ears.

Finally, one of her friends spoke up,
and said that he was not out of her reach like she thought he was.
But alas, the stubborn love-struck girl did not listen to her friend.
She continued to admire Monkey Boy from a safe distance,
while the aching, swelling, unused love in her heart started to eat her from the inside out.
After many months of this parasitism, the poor girl became very ill.
She continued to watch him as he grew older, met another girl, got married, and moved on.
Meanwhile, she was left shattered in his wake.
Because she was too stupid to take her friend's advice, he never met her.
And their love never flourished.

Because she never talked to him, her beloved Monkey Boy now had a loving family of his own.
And she had no one.

Eventually, with her life not fulfilled and with a hole in her heart,
the poor stupid girl died alone.

And he had never even known that she existed.

~Amy, 4/12/09

ring ring ring

I love you.
Please understand that.
I only ignore you because it's best for both of us.
No, don't cry now.
This is a good thing.
You'll see.
You mean everything to me.
No, I'm not faking.
I promise.
Remember our picnic last summer?
Remember how you felt?
Like you could sing along with the breeze,
and dance in the clouds?
Now, imagine that feeling, but five times better.
All right.
Do you feel better now?
Good.
Just picture me with you, and someday you will join me again.
When it's your time.
No need to rush fate, now.
I need to go now, sweetheart.
Remember, I love you.
Goodbye.

~Amy, Last Call
3/31/09

Invisible

You were there.
I saw you.

Even in the crowd, I could see you easily.
Like you were a lighthouse in my bay of thoughtlessness.

Now I believe you are truly my other half.

When we're apart, my soul calls for you.
When we're together, the roaring waves stop their death beat.

We are harmony.
We are in tune.

You were there.
I saw you.

~Amy, you.
3/31/09

Contrast

Sanity.
Such a strange contrast to... before.

Before you realized who I was.
Before you saw how much I meant to you.
Before you knew what "Love" really was.
Before, you thought your life was joyous.

But mine was a black hole of insanity.

Insanity.
Such a strange contrast to now.

~Amy, Different Lives of One Kind
3/31/09

outlook on love ~ poem format

Those three little words were everything to me.
The way you laughed, and I could see through your smile.
The way you held my hand, and didn't care when people stared at us.
We were one.
We were harmony.
I loved you.
And you said you loved me too.
But then you went and did it.
You destroyed everything.
My mind was blank, and I could no longer sleep at night.
Knowing you'd betrayed me.
You said we were perfect.
You said you needed me.
But it was all just a game.
And cheaters never win.

~Amy, Cheaters Never Win
3/18/09

more new stuff

"I felt the pain, but it didn't hurt.

It didn't sting.

I didn't weep.

And now I'm free."

~Amy, 3/16/09

new emotions

"I really wish I could fix this. I really, truly do."
"It's too late. what already happened can't be undone. Things will never be the same, no matter what. I'm sorry."
"NO!"
I pulled the trigger.
At last, there was no suffering.

~Amy, 3/15/09

new emotions

I miss the way things used to be,

when there wasn't hate, and we lived comfortably.

But I know our time's up, and we'll just have to see,

how perfect this world is without me.

~Amy, 3/15/09

new emotions

I felt the pain, but it didn't hurt.

It was okay, because it didn't matter.

I didn't matter.

Now I'm dead.

And there's peace in the world.

~Amy, 3/15/09

RTL ~ Prometheus

"The Gift of Fire"

Man had not yet seen me.
He had not known what it was like to sit in my shadow.
Until the day I was introduced to him,
by a stubborn god called Prometheus.
When he first saw me, man was scared.
He did not yet understand my power.
But Prometheus showed him how to take care of me.
He showed man my normal diet,
and warned him of what might happen if I was fed too much.
When man could control me,
he found I had many uses.
When I first cooked a deer for him,
man attacked it like a starving dog.
But he did not understand what was happening.
Man went to war for the first time.
He took me with him.
Man made weapons for endless battle.
He took me with him.
Hatred was everywhere, and love was scarce.
And still, I was with man.
Until one day, my heart was taken upon a ship,
and the rest of me was whisked away by the vast water spirit.
And then my ever-burning heart was put to light the flame
on the temple of my creator.
And the world lived in chaotic peace.
~Amy, 1/19/09

RTL ~ Icarus and Daedalus

"Take Flight"

I saw two creatures today.

They were exploring the sky like some of our kind.

They did not look like us,

and they did not sound like us.

The larger of the two soared in front,

oblivious to the smaller one's antics.

With wings larger than possible, the smaller one rose higher and higher towards the sun.

But ah, he had not known the consequences of his own exploration.

Not until it was too late.

Not until he became too close to the magnificent heat of the sun.

Then his wings were trembling,

until finally, they fell apart.

Feather

by

Feather, they danced towards the sea.

Until the little creature was falling,

falling,

plummeting,

to his unforgiving ocean grave below.

Then his body broke through the transition between water and sky,

and he did not resurface to breathe.

~Amy, 3/18/09

one-stanza

"The arguments were fierce, and seemed to go on forever.

All the yelling from both sides was driving me insane.

I swore then and there that I would never have children."

Amy, 2/26/09

Noise

I felt enveloped in a sea of black.
Like I was being tossed and jerked inside a giant rolling boulder.
Clouds came out of nowhere, and were drenching the unsuspecting ground.
I just lay motionless, The pounding rain on the roof might as well have been an army general screaming in my ear.
Sleep was impossible.
Staying awake was harder.
This was the sound of silence.

~Amy, Silence,
~2/25/09

Storm

She was lying there, in her double bed, still as stone, as a storm raged outside. A storm; cloudless, rainless. Just wind battering against her window and tattering the defenseless trees that lined her driveway.She just lied there motionless, as if waiting for the storm to take the electricity away, in order for her to be plunged into a never-ending tunnel of darkness and utter silence. She was cautiously listening to her bedside radio, trying to wrap her entire mind around the confusing chords and lyrics of the chosen song.

She closed her eyes, and envisioned herself playing her bass guitar. When she hit a difficult chord, she strained her ever-trained arm muscles, and was abruptly aware of the cold, metal flashlight that was now jabbing her in the chest.

~Amy, 2/3/09

New

Hatred.

Rage.

Figuring out for the 5th time that you don't have to deal with this crap.

So you move on.

For the fifth time.

You feel free, as though a heavy weight has been lifted from your shoulders.

Now you're fleeing down an empty highway at midnight.

All that's left for him to mourn with regret over is a small note,

the other half of his heart,

taped to the memorial that had once been your front door.

~Amy, Leaving

~2/3/09

Suicide

In the dark.
On a ledge.
Preparing to jump.
Just to end this cold, cruel clump of lies that I call my life.
No lights surround me.
This will be my last memory of earth.
Dark.
Damp.
No hope.
I silently curse all people out of my thought bank.
At last, I jump.
The darkness will be everlasting.
~Amy, Unrest Everlasting
~2/2/09

outlook on success

So, what to write about?

Death? Despair maybe?

No.

I see the light at the end of this tunnel.

I will get out of here.

Nothing and no one can stop me from living my life to the fullest.

There is no use trying to find helplessness in life.

Everything will always have a meaning.

Nothing will need defining.

I will be the instructor,

and the world,

the solar system,

the universe, even,

will be my classroom.

I will accomplish what I want to in life.

The world is my oyster,

and I am its pearl.

All I have to do now is wait

and see just what kind of pearl I happen to become.

~Amy, Reaching

~1/29/09

new~ one stanza poetry

"Thousands of pairs of eyes stared down on me as I slumbered.

Eyes of the dead, and of the future dead.

And one of those pairs was mine."

~Amy, I Dream of Doom

2/17/09

New Pics. ~Annie

Annie wrestling with her tennis ball in the backyard

Annie in her Dogloo in the backyard

New Pics .~Skittles

Skittles at Christmas

Skittles in my backyard yesterday

Skittles in my room with a lamp shining light on her face.

search

Two friends.

One love.

Two different people,

Seeking one common object.

They hold him dear to their hearts,

but one must release their grasp.

He cannot love them both.

One must be stronger than the other.

Whomever comes out alive may keep him.

This is Fate's decision.

Amy Bohon, Only in Triumph

~1/21/09

more newness

"Memories are just word to you.

Plain as the paper on which your life story is written.

You are a mere character.

Just a figment of someone's imagination.

Your origin lies in the black ink of a leaking pen.

Without it, you are merely parchment.

Your life serves no purpose,

but to be read by thousands of people,

none with the help you seek for your escape.

Foolish shadow,

You will never be heard."

Amy Bohon, Pointless Hope, Worthless Dream

~1/21/09

new poetry - straight from the pencil

Daydreaming.

Seeing your face amidst the swirly, constantly changing clouds.

You are everywhere.

In my dreams,

In my nightmares,

In my heaven.

You are my knight in shining armor.

You are just a thought.

You are a dream when the sky is light.

Amy Bohon, Day Dream

~1/21/09

unreal.

Just thoughts.
Oblivious to everything but the eyes of my brain.
No one can see them.
No one can feel them.
No one.
Except me.
I went through the real pain in those false memories.
But no one else is aware of that.
~1/15/09
Amy Bohon, Continued Unrest

just.

I am from memories.
Memories of faith, and happiness, and life.
Memories.
That's all they are.
That's all they'll ever be.
Just Memories.
Nothing more.
~1/15/09
Amy Bohon, Dissatisfaction

thought about it

Faith is not something all people need, nor something all people desire. Faith is simply knowing what you believe, especially if no one agrees with you. Who can really prove that there are no real vampires? Faith is different from person to person. There is no definition that says what's true and what's bologna. That's why it's faith. That's why it's existant. To be worthy and trusted. Faith is none but a word. Simply.

~1/8/09
my outlook on faith

poem

"And out of nowhere, you see a light.
And without thinking, you start running.
Harder and faster, like you never have before.
So maybe you can outrun this light,
just abandon it forever,
and revel in all of your past memories,
trying franticlly to perserve them so they won't go away.
You don't want to grow up,
but too fast life is coming.
It is calling."
~Amy, Memories.
11/5/08

poem

“The sun was absent today.

The bitter cold hounds of the wind tore through my jacket with every hypothermic blast.

With each gust, I felt a little bit of color leave my face.

The sky was cramped with clouds, the promise of a later shower.

No.

These were not rain clouds at all.

Plus, the temperature was below freezing.

Mom would have to get home before the storm.

If not, she’d be trapped in dunes of snow.

With no rays to melt the icy whiteness, she would be doomed.

The sun was absent today.”

Amy Bohon, Sunless

12/1/08

poem

“If only he could see her again,

So he could touch her face,

Feel her warm breath on his skin,

Look into her deep, blue eyes,

Feel her in the flesh,

Instead of the dull mockery of a worn photograph.

If only they hadn’t gone out that night……..

If only it hadn’t been so dark………..

If only the car could have seen her running across the road………..

But it was to late.

She was gone.”

~Amy, Death View
11/19/08

thoughts. more. just.

He picked me off the stairs and sat me on the bench at his side. Though his skin was ice cold, I needn't pull away. Afterall, he was my vampire.

~1/8/09

quote

"What's the meaning of life, if not just to die?"

~me
1/8/09

poem

Through the clouds,

out in the clearing,

He caught my eyes,

his pale skin sparkling.

He told me of the danger,

of staying with him here.

He told me to go away,

watched as I fought back the tears.

He said he never meant to hurt me,

but I just had to go.

So I fought back his tight grasp,

and simply told him, "No."

He said, "Please, I'm begging;

I don't want you to die."

To that, I had no answer.

I simply said, "To leave you, would be suicide."

His response was silence.

So we both stayed in that clearing.

Our meadow.

Forever.

~1/5/09

info

Okay, so my mom and my friends think I'm going a little overboard in that I am completely obsessing to Twilight more than any series/book I've ever read before ever. So I'm trying to read a different series. I started The City of Ember last night. It's okay, but not nearly as good as Twilight. At least I can now get through a day without having (being forced by my delusional mind) to read at least a few pages of Twilight. So farewell, my fellow readers.

Amy
p.s. I am not permanently boycotting Twilight (I own all four books), but instead I'm just taking a break for a while. So do not worry. Thanks for all the support.

Rain falls steadily, and constantly, to the ground outside. The weather is in perfect harmony with my current mood. Depression. Lonliness. Longing for a cure for my incurable personality. Nothing inspires like the steady beats of raindrops falling to the ceiling. Pitter-patter, pitter-patter, drip, drip, drip. Clouds are stirring just outside. Though through the darkness I cannot see them, I always have faith that they're there.

~Amy Bohon, Wetness
1/5/09

quote

"Higher authority comes naturally to you when you're a century-old hard skinned, cold-hearted killer."

~1/8/09

Intro

Welcome. This is my new blog, a sequel to my first blog, Boredomness = Randomness. In case ya'll don't remember me, my name is Amy. Previously I've been known as Darbi, but this is Amy's blog. I want the credit for my words. Therefore, I am the official author of this blog.

Anyway, this new blog of mine is my new blog of poetry/quotes that I have said. Some of the moods of my poems and such can be quite melancholy, which explains the dark interior of this blog. All poems are MINE and MINE ONLY. They all come from my 100% recycled journal of poetry/quotes that I have said. So please, do not steal. Thank you.

I hope you enjoy From The Heart!!
Amy