For Britni and Charlotte

Dark is the way;
Light is the place.
Your little one
Is happy and safe.
In gorgeous, sunny meadows,
With so many furry fellows,
Her suffering's been erased.

Now she's playing with the babes
And waiting for the day
She'll mew to see your face
And others can take her place.

Though she seems so far away,
I know she's watching you,
And if she could speak I know she'd say,
"Hey, Britni, thanks for loving me when my mother sent me away."

Kittens don't forget who loved them in life and death;
They simply wait for those people to reappear.

Now she's waiting for you across the rainbow bridge, and while she waits she's playing with Danny kitten, and Kira-momma cat, and Kira's baby kitten, and Bubbles and Skittles.

We love you, Britni, and we loved Charlotte. She's a kitten who will forever live in our hearts.

For Charlotte

Failure at life
Failure at everything
Failure at all things human.
I can't reach my usual standard
Or anyone's standard
I'm always falling through my plans of success
I can't do anything right anymore
And there's no end to this, no, never
I'll never get where I want to go
Because this life is too hard
And I'm too easily depressed
When your whole future is dependent
On your actions as an immature child,
How can you ever ensure your own safety?


12.13.2012

All these things
That I see
They were never meant for me
Carry on
Far away
You'll return before the day
Cannot see
Where I am
The darkness is closing in
Paralyzed
In my head
I will see you when I'm dead!

I cannot hide
From the emptiness inside
You are a gem in my existence

All over the world
Little boys, little girls
Can see...
This life is not for me.

NO!
This life is not for me...


12 o'clock midnight, 12.11.2012

Rejected.

Damn, I can't sleep now.
The only thing I've known for a year,
The hope I've lived by,
Has just been denied,
And my heart is lying dead
Under the axe.

At this point
In my life
I'm used to rejection,
After all,
My kind isn't socially popular.
But to be rejected
By your true love;
That is real pain.

My unrequited love
Could have lasted forever;
And now I can't even look at her
For fear of awkwardness.

Even after I tell her,
Why don't things change?
She wants things to be the same,
And I haven't the heart
To tell her that that will never be possible.

I can never see things the same.
But now I must change my thinking,
And find somebody else
For her sake.
Because I love her.

August 10, 2012.

You're single, I'm single. You love me the most and are jealous when I have other friends, I've loved you for over a year. Why can't I date you?

Taking One for Humanity

So I miss my past
The people in it,
Friends and whatnot
It's hard to see them in pictures on Facebook
After years of not seeing them in person.
Years.
Things change,
And they're no longer the people I knew.
And I can't help but feel like
I let some very valuable people go.
It's true that
I'm the type of person
Who doesn't realize what she's missed
Until she sees how well things
Are going without her.
Perhaps it's jealousy;
I did consider that point.
When  out of all your life
There's one thing that turns out all right,
But you make it end,
And it goes away and nothing after that
Turns out the same,
Well,
It's just sad to know what could have been.
I'm not writing a love story here;
It's not just him I miss.
My friends too;
I had friends before the big divorce and move.
Well, at least
I think I did.
Of course,
Now I'm not really sure.
But my problem here is not that I wish I could
Once again be with these people,
But that's part of it.
My problem is that
I'm missing my past that's moved forward,
And I feel guilty about it because I'm very happy
With the people I'm surrounded with now.
I love my friends with all my heart,
And I've got a girl that I love too,
Though things aren't exactly as I'd have them be.
And it makes me think
That maybe
It's okay for friends to grow apart;
That's part of growing up.
And it's okay for people to change
Because it's not about being apart from your old friends
And changing them back to fit your memories
When you meet again.
It's okay for people to grow and change and
Get new friends,
Because that's just how humanity works,
And that's how you end up
Surrounded by people you adore.
That's when you discover
That changing your past is worthless
And trying to keep up
Is pointless
Because there's people around you
Who love you
Even as you're changing.
And this discovery
Makes all the difference.

June 17, 2012

You're my favorite too.